Condemned: Criminal Reviewing

Video Game Journalist here, reporting on a great example of video game journalism. This one reviews a horror thriller, and everyone enjoys a good horror thriller. Especially when the horror is being forced to opt!

Click here for professionalism: Starting Easy--Amateur Hour

To refresh you from the core gameplay, you’ll be opted to search for evidence that will help advance the storyline.

I recall a time when I was reporting on a terrorist attack in Falujah--I was an embedded journalist, and the unit I was with got captured by the terrorism. We were opted to refresh the terrorists or die trying. Long story short, we all died. Now that was journalism.

For example, if there’s a table in your way, you approach the table and press the A button when it opts for you to climb over it.

Speaking of which, have you ever opted so much you could just opt? Well, I can't count the number of times I opted. In fact, the entire unit I was embedded in opted. We opted until our opt opted out our opts. There was opt all over the opting place.

The story of Condemned is very good.

Please don't elaborate. You had me at "opt".

Contrary to popular belief, this game doesn’t have you just killing enemies such as bums and drug addicts.

This is some good reporting. I often walk into people on the street who are saying things like "Condemned: Criminal Origins? That's just another one of those bum-killing simulators!" and "Well, if you want to kill some drug addicts, Condemned is the game for you!" But there's more to it than that...

Mannequins also come to life, which is creepy in and of itself.

...There are also creepy mannequins! Dare I say it...mannequins even creepier than those you might find in, say, Mannequin 2: On the Move?!

Reviewed by: Volodnikov

Oh, opt! I guess the cold war is back on! Time to opt myself into a Soviet unit!